JOKES

[Flamin Morry]

There's a cuppla Afghanistan families that have decided to lob over to australia to live (didnt see the fark off where full sticker)

The 2 old mans of the families made a bet of $100 as to which one could become the most aussie after 12 months of livin there. Fairy nuff, deal done

12 months goes by, and the 2 fathers meet up again.

"So, you become an aussie yet or what cunt?" said the one afgani bloke

"Fuckin oath, I've just dropped me son off to footy, and on the way back I grabbed meself a meat pie and slab of VB to go get pissed".

Feeling quite proud of his achievments the 1st bloke asked the other bloke
"now how have you become more aussie than me?".

The other bloke simply looked up and said

"Fark off towell edd"

[YOKEL]

why is a washing mechine different to a women?
cos you dont haft to cuddle a washer after placing your load inside

[Flamin Morry]

Whats the definition of pain?

Crackin a fat and runnin outta skin

[xr8man83]

Whats the definition of pain?

Crackin a fat and runnin outta skin

ouch

[smellmyfinger]

What's the ultimate definition of poverty?

It is when you have to jerk off to feed your cat!

[PISSFARTER]

Heres sum jokes about them fucken kiddy fidlin poofters!!

SHow do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs taste like shit!


Four fags are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One fag says, "Ok, who farted?"


How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down!

What do you call a ship full of fags?
The navy!

What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?
Rolaids

What's the difference between a refridgerator and a fag?
The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!

What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?

HE HE!!!
VB - the health food of the nation Stick yer icecreams up yer arse!!

[PISSFARTER]

What did one med say to the other med?








Nothin





They were both stuck up carnts

Hahahaha

Why'd the bogan put a med on top ov his TV?
To remind him of the cant that stole his video!!

[Flamin Morry]

Why do sheilas have legs?
So they dont leave snail trails everywhere

What the definition of pain?
A cunt with teeth

Whats the definition of disappointment?
Elle McPherson says she'll give ya a root for a dollar and you only got 99cents

What did the poof with a 12inch dick give his bumfuck mate for his birthday?
A foot up the arse

[PISSFARTER]

Why id cave men drag there shezzas around by the Hair?
So ther cunts wouldnt fill up wif sand!!

A  penguin was drivin his BMW whn it started to play up. He pulled into a garage, waddled up to the mechanic - and said "me beemers farked can ya have a look at it?" The mechanic says yeah come back in an hour and I'll let ya know whats up! So being A fucking hot cunt of a day the penguin waddles off down the main drag and looks around the shops. An hour passes and on his way back the poor cunts starvin so he grabs himself a Dairy queen Ice cream and eats the fucker, as it melts all over the cunts beak> He rocks up to the mechanic,  ; and the mechanic says - Looks like ya'v blown a seal mate! The Penguin wipes his beak and says no mate I just ate an Ice cream!!

[the final solution]

what do you say to a sheila with 2 black eyes?

nothing     she's already been told twice

[PISSFARTER]

I fucked a blokes wife once, she said my hubbie gives me twelve inches and makes me bleed! So I fucked her twice and punched her in the nose!!!

[Dikko]

Why is rootin loik a game of snooker???
Cause if the pink is coverd by the red, ya can always pot the brown...

[ozboganruss]

3 tampons are walking down the street. An old lady walks up beside them. Which tampon says high first?

None of them. Their all stuck up cunts!

(sorry shaz luv, now get me another fuckin beer)

 

[Bloomy]

This one goes out to all those bloody poofters who keep posting their unbogan, politically-correct, pink-shirting-wearing, garbage on these forums.
Specially that farken LordYuppy carnt, thank bloody christ he racked off!

A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to
come home from a social engagement when the boy came into the
house with a big smile on his face.  Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly.
"Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!"
His mother turned red and said to her husband, "He's your son.
You talk to him".  Then she left the room.
The father said "Son, that's great. Now you've become a man and
I'm proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the occasion by buying you that
ten-speed bike you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind waiting till
payday to get it".
"That's OK, Dad", said the boy.
"I couldn't ride it right now anyway, my ass is too sore".

[Dikko]

Just change the name from Rocky to your nearest single mum hotspot.

Q. Two Rockingham girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society

Q. What does a Rockingham girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old Rockingham girl?
A. Granny

Q. Why did the Rocko girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so
ever..

Q. What do you call a Rockingham girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a Rocko quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two Rocko's in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. What's the difference between a Rocko boy and a Rocko girl?
A. A Rocko girl has a higher sperm count.