JOKES

[cut_snake_vb_sle]

A priest hooks a huge fish. Helping him reel it in, a

sailor says

"Whoa, look at the size of that f*cker!"


 "Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.



Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "

Sorry

farther,

but

that's what this fish is called - it's a F*cker fish"



Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor

and


takes The

fish

back to church.



"Look at this huge f*cker" says the priest, spotting the

bishop.



"Language, please! this is Gods house,"replies the bishop.

"No, no


That's

what this fish is called, " says the priest. "Oh," says

the

bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that f*cker and

we

could have it for dinner".

So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to

the

mother superior. " Could you cook this f*cker for dinner

tonight?"



he asks

her.



"My, what language!"she exclaims, clearly shocked."No,

sister

that's what the fish is called - a f*cker, " says the

bishop.

Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior

says,"wonderful, I'll cook that f*cker tonight, The Pope

is coming



for dinner!"


 The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they

got it.


"Well, I caught the f*cker!" says the priest.



"And I cleaned the f*cker!" says the bishop.



 "And I cooked the f*cker!" says the mother superior.



The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze,

leans

back On

his

chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table,

pours

himself a whiskey and says " You know what?, You c*nts are

alright."

[aussie_pride]

  thats probably the best joke ive heard in ages good stuff mate

[aussie_pride]

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A; None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q: How do you fix a women's watch?
A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.
Q. What doesn't belong in this list? Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob

[cut_snake_vb_sle]

thats probably the best joke ive heard in ages good stuff mate

like any bogan would ,i ripped it from someone else haha

[aussie_pride]

thats probably the best joke ive heard in ages good stuff mate

like any bogan would ,i ripped it from someone else haha

yea but its still a fuckin ripper mate

[Winnired]

What did one med say to the other med?








Nothin





They were both stuck up carnts

Hahahaha

[Dikko]

What does "Wife" stand for

W ashing,
 I roning,
 F u*king,
 E xcetra.

[cut_snake_vb_sle]

What does "Wife" stand for

W ashing,
 I roning,
 F u*king,
 E xcetra.

swoit

[Bloomy]

Ear's a few good ones,

Q: Why don't wives require a drivers license?
A: Cause there ain't no road between the kitchen and the laundry.

Q: Why did god create Japanese cars?
A: To keep wankers and tossers out of our beaut Fords and Holdens!

Q: What is the world record for the biggest que of waiting people?
A: The que at f*cking Centrelink!

Aboriginal seen leaving court with a sheet of corrugated iron under one arm and a slab under the other. Bloke walks up and asks him,
"What's with the iron and the slab mate?"
Abo replies,
"I've just divorved my wife and she said I could take the house and contents".

Q: What is any Japanese car worth?
A: I tell you what it's worth, it's worth chucking out!

[cut_snake_vb_sle]

not bad bloomy

[aussie_pride]

Q: Why don't wives require a drivers license?
A: Cause there ain't no road between the kitchen and the laundry.

That is gold mate...

[aussie_pride]

a bloke on a motor bike runs over a woman who is the one who is in the wrong?

the bloke on the motor bike cause he shouldnt have been riding around in the kitchen.

[Bloomy]

That's a beaut mate!

Er's another one me brother told me,

How many blokes doesn't it take to change a light bulb?

None! She can bloody or well cook in the dark if she can't change it herself!

[Wally]

What the difference between a Volvo and a pineapple?



















































The pricks are on the outside of a pineapple

[Love Stain]

That's a beaut mate!

Er's another one me brother told me,

How many blokes doesn't it take to change a light bulb?

None! She can bloody or well cook in the dark if she can't change it herself!

And there is a light on the oven anyway