Some questions about life.

[White _Trash]

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Why do companies offer you “free gifts?” Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
 
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a vampire can’t see himself in a mirror, why is his hair always so neat?

Why do they say new and improved? It can’t be new if it was improved can it?

Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

[Vertical Smile (Carnt)]

You`re a deep thinker White_Trash
And a funny cunt too.

[smell my finger]

If a pig gets laryngitis, does it beocme disgruntled?


I put spot remover on my dog......he's gone now.


If a fat chick falls over in the forest, do the trees laugh?


How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side


Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have altzeimers
Cheese on toast



'Ten clowns arrested in a raid at a circus.'

Police reported large pockets of resistance.





I hate being bi-polar. It’s fantastic




My wife tells me I'm offensive and dismissive,

but what the fuck does she know.




So I'm on holiday in Holland and this morning I got woken up at 6am by some joggers.

Fucking wooden shoes.




I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.

[smell my finger]

A blonde lady runs into the doctors and said
"Doctor Doctor I have been taking steroids and I have grown a cock"
the doctor replies "Anabolics"
She says "No just a cock"

[scubaseven]

Some of those are awesome.
Keep it up mate.

[White _Trash]

if you melt dry ice can you swim without getting wet?

[TheLastAussie]

Not really a question but you know when ya see a mate you say "how ya goin?"
                                                                          They say "whadda ya know?
                                                                           You reply" Ya cant strike a match on soap" or some witty shit like that. They can never come back with a good answer

[OzyGunja]

When people come up and say to me ... "What's up mate!".
I often reply with "Ahh dunno mate....Clouds, Planes...Birdshit!"

[bigdickjoe]

When carnts ask me "how ya goin" i normally say "why do you give a fuck all of a sudden?" Fuck youse carnts!