aussie pick up line

[Miss Dingo]

A Aussie walks into a  pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman..   
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'
The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,
' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

[FraserKing]

Never heard that one before - made me smile

[ya-tosspotknt]

hey cunts. i was stoned and pissed the other day had a horn so i just told a chick i liked her straight out. be an animal ya pack of fuckwits what is wrong with yas ya meant to be bogans

[smell my finger]

hey cunts. i was stoned and pissed the other day had a horn so i just told a chick i liked her straight out. be an animal ya pack of fuckwits what is wrong with yas ya meant to be bogans

Did it get ya in his knickers?

[smell my finger]

An old mate of mine who had such a high sucess rate with the ladies that no-one wanted to introduce their new girlfriends to him was in line for a night club. It was $20 to get in, 45 minutes' wait. He says (to no-one in particular), "What a waste of time and money". "What is?" said the honey in front of him. "Waiting in line for this place. $20 each to get in, expensive drinks, why don't we just put it towards a room?" "OK" says the honey.

He was unbeliveable. A talent I never had (but I'm happily married* 16 years now).























*she's happy, I'm married.





Actually, I mixed up my Valentine's day cards this year. Te girlfreind thinks I love her and the missus thinks I want to fuck her!.

[jaxxen]

A bloke goes up to a sheila in the pub. They get into some small talk before the bloke says "I was going to tell you a joke about my dick. But it's too long".

The sheila replies "well, I was going to tell you a joke about my fanny, but you'll never get it".

[Miss Dingo]

i got that in text message recently jaxxen, good one aye

[jaxxen]

i got that in text message recently jaxxen, good one aye

Definitely.

[bj4me]

Hi I'm Dr love. Are you ready for your slipadicktome?
They love that sorta shit